I used to slut shame people all the time. If I saw a girl in a short skirt, I’d call her a ‘slag’ because she was obviously just trying to draw attention to herself, right? She needed to have some self-respect and behave more like me.
I learned the meaning of the word ‘slut’ in year seven. Luckily, from an early age, I knew the importance of women dressing a certain way, acting a certain way, and absolutely not having too much s-e-x! Obviously, I could never be friends with someone I considered ‘slutty,’ because otherwise I’d be associated with ‘those types of girls’ – and I was way better than them.
One fateful day, however, I watched a video that completely blew my mind. The video was called ‘she’s such a SLUT’ by the YouTuber Laci Green. For the first time in my life, Laci made me question why people called girls sluts and whether there was actually anything wrong with women having lots of sex. She also pointed out that males didn’t get slut shamed. Instead, they were championed for having sex by getting called names like a ‘player’ or ‘a guy with game’ (which wasn’t necessarily helpful for them either). I’ve linked her video at the bottom of this post if you want to watch it.
I realised that as long as sex was safe and consensual, there was nothing wrong with having it! Or not having it! Or having it upside-down! (You get the idea).This judgemental label that I’d been using for years was actually a misogynistic double-standard that made no sense. At the end of the day, other people’s sex lives (or lack thereof) were none of my business. This meant I never had to worry about the length of anybody’s skirt, the amount of cleavage they showed, or how often they bonked again! What a weight off my chest.
A while later, I also learned about something called ‘prude shaming’ and how it could be just as damaging as slut-shaming. It all came back to the idea of not judging people for their personal sex lives and minding my own business. That seemed easy enough to me.
Slut-shaming is very harmful and needs to end. It may seem trivial to merely call someone names now, but shaming people for their sex lives can lead to very serious consequences in the future. These can include bullying, rape victim-blaming and even suicide. I may write a more detailed post or make a video about these consequences in the future because I think they warrant their own space to be discussed.
I’m so glad that people on the internet helped me to change my perspective on slut and prude shaming. Shout out to Laci for introducing me to the concept in the first place. Whatever gender you identify as, you should be able to have as much or as little sex as you want without people policing you for it. So as long as it’s safe and consensual sex, do whatever you want!
Thanks for reading,
Laci’s Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BwuASx8yT8