Stop Slut-Shaming

I used to slut shame people all the time. If I saw a girl in a short skirt, I’d call her a ‘slag’ because she was obviously just trying to draw attention to herself, right? She needed to have some self-respect and behave more like me.

I learned the meaning of the word ‘slut’ in year seven. Luckily, from an early age, I knew the importance of women dressing a certain way, acting a certain way, and absolutely not having too much s-e-x! Obviously, I could never be friends with someone I considered ‘slutty,’ because otherwise I’d be associated with ‘those types of girls’ – and I was way better than them.

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One fateful day, however, I watched a video that completely blew my mind. The video was called ‘she’s such a SLUT’ by the YouTuber Laci Green. For the first time in my life, Laci made me question why people called girls sluts and whether there was actually anything wrong with women having lots of sex. She also pointed out that males didn’t get slut shamed. Instead, they were championed for having sex by getting called names like a ‘player’ or ‘a guy with game’ (which wasn’t necessarily helpful for them either). I’ve linked her video at the bottom of this post if you want to watch it.

I realised that as long as sex was safe and consensual, there was nothing wrong with having it! Or not having it! Or having it upside-down! (You get the idea).This judgemental label that I’d been using for years was actually a misogynistic double-standard that made no sense. At the end of the day, other people’s sex lives (or lack thereof) were none of my business. This meant I never had to worry about the length of anybody’s skirt, the amount of cleavage they showed, or how often they bonked again! What a weight off my chest.

A while later, I also learned about something called ‘prude shaming’ and how it could be just as damaging as slut-shaming. It all came back to the idea of not judging people for their personal sex lives and minding my own business. That seemed easy enough to me.

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Slut-shaming is very harmful and needs to end. It may seem trivial to merely call someone names now, but shaming people for their sex lives can lead to very serious consequences in the future. These can include bullying, rape victim-blaming and even suicide. I may write a more detailed post or make a video about these consequences in the future because I think they warrant their own space to be discussed.

I’m so glad that people on the internet helped me to change my perspective on slut and prude shaming. Shout out to Laci for introducing me to the concept in the first place. Whatever gender you identify as, you should be able to have as much or as little sex as you want without people policing you for it. So as long as it’s safe and consensual sex, do whatever you want!

Thanks for reading,

ranterwrites


Laci’s Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BwuASx8yT8

My YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNYM8MsTt08kkwSvSKzktCg

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ranterwrites

 

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Messy Room Messy Mind

(Sidenote – this turned out a lot more pretentious than I meant it to. Lol.)

My room is a mess. Books are strewn across the desk, pyjamas have taken up permanent residence on my floor, and chocolate wrappers are poking out guiltily from every corner. Crowded cups stand on my shelves, probably whispering about the state of the room and the irresponsible owner who hasn’t cleaned it yet. Exhausted-looking T-shirts lounge on my bed, showing no signs of moving to the laundry basket anytime soon. I look around the room, refusing to see that this wreck of a bedroom is actually me.

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The state of my bedroom reflects my state of mind. There’s little doubt about that. My brain becomes suffocated by possessions and struggles to spill out ideas when socks are in the way. To me, working in a messy room is like trying to work with four screaming children running about. At the end of the day, whatever I’ve made is going to look as messy as I’ve felt.

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I need a blank canvas room. That way, I have something clean to splurge my ideas on so their colours don’t get mixed up. As long as my room stays in order while I work, I’ll get plenty done that day. Unfortunately, sometimes this is an unrealistic goal for me to set for my room. It has a tendency to get messy just before I’m about to start working. Or maybe I have a tendency to not tidy it up…

Either way, I have always worked in this bedroom. I’ve tapped out endless different combinations of words on this very same keyboard in this very same bedroom. Maybe it’s time for a rethink? I suppose I could start writing in places outside of my house. I could start writing in libraries and coffee shops, surrounded by the buzz of other people and the vibrancy of life. Would that be too loud for me? Would it even be possible with the large clunky weight of my laptop and social anxiety?

If you write outside the house, please let me know what it’s like (especially if you have social anxiety). Do you think it’s worth a try? Do you find the world distracting or inspiring? Let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading,

ranterwrites


Twitter: https://twitter.com/ranterwrites

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNYM8MsTt08kkwSvSKzktCg